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Paragraph Revision Workshop

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Paragraph Revision Workshop

Student revising paragraph with pencil

📝 Part 1: Identifying Revision Needs

Read this paragraph and identify what needs fixing:

"Social media is popular. Lots of teenagers use it. It can be good. It can be bad too. You can talk to friends. Some people get bullied online. It's everywhere now. Parents worry about it."

1. What is the main problem with this paragraph?

No topic sentence

Sentences are too short and choppy

No concluding sentence

All of the above

2. Which transition words could help connect the ideas? (Tick all that apply)

However

Furthermore

On the other hand

Therefore

3. Circle the best topic sentence for this paragraph:

Social media is everywhere.

Social media has both positive and negative effects on teenagers.

Teenagers love using social media.

✏️ Part 2: Revision Practice

4. Rewrite two of the choppy sentences as one smooth sentence using a connecting word:

Original: "It can be good. It can be bad too."

Revised: _________________________________________________

5. Replace these vague words with more precise vocabulary:

• "lots of" → ________________

• "good" → ________________

• "bad" → ________________

6. Write a strong concluding sentence for the paragraph:

🎯 Part 3: Success Criteria Check

Use this checklist to revise your own paragraph:

7. Tick each box when you've checked your paragraph:

Clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea

Supporting details that relate to the topic

Transition words to connect ideas

Varied sentence lengths and structures

Precise vocabulary (not vague words)

Strong concluding sentence

8. Write one goal for improving your next paragraph:

My goal: ________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

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